


All Of My Friends Say

by ascott5110



Category: Star Trek
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-06 20:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ascott5110/pseuds/ascott5110
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone told Leonard McCoy that smile was a mask that was hiding something darker, and he believed it.<br/>Up until he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Of My Friends Say

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Just Another Girl by The Killers

Leonard McCoy had fallen for James Kirk when he was the only one on that damn shuttle that didn't look at him like a freak. He had just gotten divorced from Jocelyn, and he already missed his daughter Joanna, so when he felt himself falling he told himself he better get the hell up, because he just couldn't go through all that again. He even threw up on the kid for God's sake, but did that make him go away? No, no it didn't. They had just gotten off the shuttle when another cadet came up to him. "He's trouble, I wouldn't get involved if I were you." Leonard just stared at her, bewildered, when she answered his unasked question."Nyota Uhura. He was starting problems in a bar just before he got onto the shuttle." He just nodded. "Leonard McCoy. Thanks for the advice. You'll have to forgive me if I don't take it." Was all he said before walking away.

~-~

It was during a flight sim, Jim was captain, and he was navigator to some guy named Hikaru Sulu. He caught himself turning slightly in his seat to stare at the beautiful blonde captain, and blushed slightly before turning back around. "I heard he was a womanizer, never stays in a relationship for more than a week! Those eyes though.." Sulu had told him. Leonard had to phyiscally bite his tounge to keep from saying something unprofessional about the "captain's" eyes.

And again, he told himself to get the hell up.

~-~

It hurt him. It phyically hurt him to conceal his feelings for his new captain. The damn kid had a nickname for him for fucks sake. He had to keep his thoughts from straying too far whenever he saw the way Jim's lips moved when he said his name, 'Bones'. He couldn't count the times he has had to take a cold shower when he woke up in the mornings. 

Once, a mission had gone horribly awry. Some new ensign had flirted with the wrong alien on the wrong planet, and in the blink of an eye, phasers were pulled out and shots were being fired. Bones had had to listen helplessly on the ship as Jim practically screamed for a beam up, when his worst nightmare became a reality. "Enterprise, beam us up! The captain has been hit, he might bleed out down here if we don't get him into Medbay!" Uhura's voice carred the bad news through an open channel on the ship. Bones sprinted to the transporter pad as he recieved news the landing party had come back. Spock was holding Jim's eerily still body, and Bones practically tackled the hobgoblin away from the captain's body. His tricorder revealed two broken ribs and a concussion, and he was bleeding from a wound dangerously close to his heart. "Get me a morphine hypospray and a stretcher! We need to move him into Medbay immediatley! I need two officers that can lift him without moving his head!" He felt someone's hand on his shoulders, and he opened his mouth to order it off his fucking shoulder before he cut it off, when a monotone voice spoke quietly in his ear. "Perhaps, Doctor, you should take a moment to emotionally remove yourself from this situation. Jim displays martyr behavior, and it is best not to get too involved. It is likely to get increasly difficult to do your job if you allow your feelings to get in the way." He growled at Spock to get his ass off the transporter pad, and tried to keep his heart rate down.  _What if this is the mission that Jim doesn't recover from?_ Was all he kept thinking as his best friend went into cardiac arrest. 

 

Bones never left Jim's bedside for a week, afraid that if he left, that would be the last time he ever saw Jim. Bones had just about nodded off in those damn uncomfortable chairs when Jim's bright blue eyes fluttered opened, and wandered about the room until they found Bones' hazel ones. Jim gave him a weak smile. "Water?" he asked Bones, his voice raspy. "I got ya kid." he had replied, and handed Jim a glass of water. "Look, uh, since you're awake an' all, I'm gonna go grab a shower an' a change of clothes. I'll be back." Bones told Jim, almost awkwardly as he backed out of the room.

He didn't come back that night.

~-~ 

It was two days after Jim had woken up, and Bones still hadn't gone back. He was fast asleep when his comm buzzed. "Doctor McCoy, it's Chapel. Jim is asking for you." He grunted into the comm as a response and rolled over to go back to sleep. God, he wanted to get up and run to him, run to his Jim, but he just couldn't. He knew, he  _knew_ Jim didn't feel the same, so why bother? He ignored the tears that dropped onto his pillow, and tried allowed sleep to take him.  _  
_

~-~

He hadn't seen Jim in a week, and he knew he was being released today. He milled around his room until he knew Jim would be out of Medbay before heading down himself. He unlocked his office and was suprised to see Jim sitting in his chair, staring at Bones. "Hi Bones." Jim said quietly, and Bones' heart sank, hearing the sadness in his best friend's voice. "Hey Jim. You still feeling a little under the weather?" He asked hesitantly. Jim scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Please, I was good to be out of here 4 days ago." 

"Uh huh. So why are you here then?" Bones asked, his eyes not meeting Jim's. "Cut the shit Bones, you know damn well why I'm here." Jim said, finally standing up. "Why have you been avoiding me? Chapel said you wouldn't leave Medbay while I was asleep. Not even for coffee, and then all of a sudden I'm awake and you can't stand to be around me?" He asked, his voice raising with every sentence. "Did I do something?" He asked, quieter that time. Bones sighed and looked Jim in the eye. "No. Nothing is wrong. I think you should get to the bridge. Spock might come down looking for you and I don't have time for another lecture from that damn green blooded hobgoblin." 

"Bones. tell me what the hell is up." Jim said. 

"You know what? Fine. You wanna know what the hell is up. Let's have a little 'chat' Jimmy. Pal to pal. You know what the HELL is up? I have a best friend who is a goddamn idiot! He goes down to these planets and he puts himself in danger without thinking of others and what it might do to everyone else if he dies. He doesn't acknowledge that people care about him! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS UP? I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK THAT EVERY TIME YOU GO DOWN TO A PLANET, EVERY  _FUCKING_ TIME YOU DISAPPEAR FROM THE TRANSPORTER PAD THAT THAT'S THE LAST TIME I SEE YOU!" Bones was so angry. He was fed up with hiding his feelings from Jim, and angry that he had no thought of what him dying would do to everyone else. "God dammit Jim," he began, lowering his voice, "I fucking love you. All of our goddamn friends say I shouldn't do this, and I listened. I listened for a long time, but I can't do it anymore. I can't put myself through it anymore. I would rather go through the hell of you knowing and not feeling the same than going through the hell of pretending I don't care when I do. I love you, you dork. I love everything about you. It  _kills_ me to see you go down there without knowing if you are gonna come back and I just can-"   


And thats when Jim kissed him. He kissed him long and slow, pouring everything he had into that damn kiss. When he finally pulled away, he looked Bones in the eye and said, "I love you too." 

~-~ 

He moved into Jim's captain's quarters a week later. Everyone told him to be careful with Jim, but they were happy for him in the end. 

After a long day, he crawled into bed next to Jim and enveloped him into his arms, kissing the top of his beautiful boyfriend's head. "I love you Jim." He whispered. "I love you too Bones." Came the reply. He just smiled, and ran his hand up and down Jim's stomach. "I'm glad I have you." He whispered back. "I'm glad I have you too." Came the reply. 

This time, he let himself fall. 

 

~End~


End file.
